Training Day

Originally posted August 7, 2007

I was instructed to call in and get training with Chelsea one evening, two days before I start working.

She sounds young, with a hint of a Southern drawl. She's been doing this for 7 years; her husband got her into it. She told me she was in her bed right now, under the covers watching her shows in between calls.

Chelsea says to keep some supplies nearby. I'll need a vibrator, or something that sounds like one. Chelsea uses her electric razor. I'll just use a vibrator. She also suggests keeping a leather belt near me. The guys who want to be punished love to hear her snapping the belt while she pretends to spank them.

As she talks about them, she seems to have that bitter disdain for men like a lot of sex workers do. She calls them idiots and fucking bastards. Even when she says "the guys" there's a bitterness to her voice. It's strange to me, these guys just want to get off. And they can do that for free! Instead, they're giving us money to help them with their fantasies because they can't talk to people in their real life about this sort of stuff. I guess after 7 years of talking to perverts, you get burned out. I feel sort of bad for her husband.

She tells me that there should be no background noise. Once, her dog started barking while she was on a call, and the jackass asked her if she ever let her dog fuck her. So, she ended up in a bestiality call. But, why's the guy gotta be a jackass? It's not like he can just tell his girlfriend he wants to talk about her fucking a dog. If he even has a girlfriend. I don't think I like Chelsea too much.

Then she tells me this job is perfect for her because she has MS. Sometimes, she can't get dressed, or walk even, so there's no way she'd be able to work an office job. She says this job is perfect for her, on days like today when her legs don't work right, she can just lay in bed in her T-shirt and still earn money. Now, I feel bad for her, too.

Chelsea talks a lot. I have to interrupt her to ask questions, but she covers as much as she can. You can't really get trained in this job, you basically have to go with the flow with every call. When one comes through, the receptionist will tell me the guy's name and what kind of girl he want to talk to. Then I tell the receptionist what character I'm going to be and we're off.

I have 5 characters I'll play.

Sarah. She's my young blonde girl, with blue eyes and a bubbly personality. She's who guys will talk to if they want a girl between 18-30. She wants to be an actress and loves being the center of attention.

Mary Anne. She's the older woman. She's 30 to old lady. She has salt and pepper hair and green eyes. She's a restaurant hostess.

Serena. This is my black girl. Of course she's got big tits and ass. She wants to be a writer.

Suri is my Asian girl. She has feathered bangs. Feathered bangs?! Ok...

Then there's my dominatrix lady. She owns a pet grooming business. That's kind of random. I figure I can use my doggie grooming leashes and brushes to punish the bad boys who call me.

My favorite is Mercedes. She's very busty, and for the man that can handle it, she's got a thick, 9 inch long surprise! She also works as a manicurist. For some reason, I think it's going to be great fun when I get to bust Mercedes out.

Chelsea tells me that I should practice voices in case I didn't know any. Apparently, you do much better if you can do different accents. She tells me for her Asian accent, she just sat in a Japanese accent and listened to their "jabber."

I asked her to do her voices for me. Her black lady didn't sound black at all! She just exaggerated her Southern accent and talked about peaches a lot. Her Asian girl was just a higher pitched voice. She actually said, "Me love you long time." Wow.

I suppose the guys want a fantasy, and it obviously doesn't need to sound anything like reality. I'm going to go hang out in the ghetto so I can improve my Ebonics. My friends and I are going out for sushi so I can practice that, too. Me love you long time...please. I can't imagine a guy getting off on that. Maybe I'll watch some Asian porn so I can get those sound effects right, too. If Chelsea can work for 7 years with her half ass accents, I can definitely succeed at this job.