Mr. Fantastic

Originally posted October 8, 2007

It didn't take me long to find a caller who irritates me. He calls himself Mr. Fantastic. Without a shred of irony; he truly thinks he's fantastic.

The night he called, I'd agreed to work late. He's a Platinum client, and I guess he's pretty notorious among the receptionists and the other phone whores. He wants a young, white, submissive girl. Mindy told me that for our first 10 minute call he'd quiz me, and make sure that I was on the up and up. If so, he'd call back for longer.


"Hi Sarah, I'm Mr. Fantastic, how are you tonight?" He sounds smug and self satisfied. He's an older guy. I see him sitting in a brown leather recliner in a half dark room sipping something out of a snifter. Not anything fancy, the brandy that was on sale. It all looks classy, but it reeks of cigar smoke and sweat.

"I'm good, thank you. And you?" I figured since he was all professional, I'd be, too.

"Well, they told me you were 21 and busty. What are your measurements?"

"I'm a 38D," I tell him matter-of-factly.

"What about the rest of it?" He demands.

"Well, I have a flat stomach and..."

"What are your actual measurements, Sarah?!" He practically shouts.

"38D-25-34." I tell him in clipped tones, "Most people don't really know what that means. . ."

"I'm not most people. I'm Mr. Fantastic, Sarah. How much do you weight?"

It goes on this way, he fires questions, I answer them until finally, the 10 minutes are up. I don't get to rest, though, as Mr Fantastic calls back moments later.

"You passed, Charlotte!" Mindy says, "You get to spend 30 minutes with Mr Fantastic!" She laughs.

"Hello, Sarah," Mr Fantastic says in a husky whisper, "You're happy I called back, aren't you?"

"Oh yes! I was hoping you would!"

"I know you were. Here's how this is going to go. I'm the best Dom you'll ever encounter. I'm the best lover you'll ever have, even just over the phone. My phone sex is better than the sex you're having in your real life." His tone brooks no argument, he's simply stating the facts.

"Oh my!" I whisper.

He asks me to tell him about the first time I had sex and I relax a little. I like story time. I don't have to make sex noises or anything, I just make up my own little porn scene in my head with details fitting the callers' kinks. I tell him about my first time with a man and the first time with a woman. The first time I was thoroughly dominated. The last time I was fucked. I'm pretty happy that I get to spend all these sinful tales without having to have sex with Mr. Fantastic.

He suddenly changes course and says, "Now, that guy you had sex with this weekend didn't know what he was doing. You're too young, he's too young. Now you're going to do what I tell you to aren't you, Sarah?"

"Yes, sir." I say nervously.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, Mr. Fantastic!"

"Good girl. Take off your clothes and put on your nipple clamps. . .now get on your hands and knees on the carpet and drag your nipples back and forth across it."

As he describes a scene, he repeats his command over and over, louder and louder, and his voice becomes more growly until he's essentially barking."Do it. Drag your nipples back and forth, back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Faster. Faster. Faster. Faster. . .faster. FASTERFASTERFASTERFASTER!"

"Yes sir!" I say breathlessly, as if I'm in pain, while wondering how the fuck he decided his name should be Mr. Fantastic.

"You're gonna cum. . .gonna cum. . .gonna cum. Cum. Cum. Cum. CUM. CUM. CUMCUMCUMCUM!!!!"

It's fucking annoying.

At the end of the call, he says he's going to call again. I try to swear him off, after all, I'm working late and I have to get up early for class tomorrow.

"I'm going to call you back, and you're going to accept the call, Sarah. You'll be a good girl and do what I tell you." He voice sound reasonable and I my first instinct is to cop an attitude and tell him to kiss my ass. Then I remember he's a Dom, I'm a sub, and I get paid more when they request me. I tell him fine.

He calls me for a 10 minute recap. He reiterates how great a lover he is and how all the girls here talk about him. He says they'll all be jealous that he's picking me to talk to and I'm a lucky girl because he's such a tremendous lover.

I agree whole heartedly. "You really are fantastic! I've never cum so hard before!"

"Not even with your boyfriend, right?"

He asks me my schedule, and I give it. We're close to out of time, so he tells me he's going to call me back again. By now, it's 2:30 in the morning and Mr. Fantastic can go blow his fantastic self and I don't answer his next call.

He's called a number of times since then. Once at 3am! I didn't answer then either. A good Dom should listen to his sub and observe her needs, too. It's not entirely about his stupid ass. In discussing him with Mindy when he calls and I don't take it, apparently this is his thing. Everyone hates him. This makes me laugh.

When I finally take his call, it's 10 minutes, and he fusses at me the whole time. He tells me I am rude and that he told me he was calling back. I point out I told him I wasn't going to answer. I have to stop myself from getting heated and telling him to fuck off. I remind myself he's yelling at Sarah, not me, and I apologize.

I tell him I didn't mean to offend him, but I had an exam that next day the first time we talked, and that I'd thought about him a lot since that day. He told me he'd called a few times, but I wasn't available.

"Well, I was driving through your state, and I thought of you. I thought, I wonder if Sarah can feel my vibes in her I decided to call."

"I'm glad you did, Mr. Fantastic!"

"You know, I told you the other girls just love me, right? Well, this is what they say, and I'm going to teach it to you, too, so you can say it when I call you....I love you, I adore you, and I worship you."

"Oh I do! Oh, Mr. Fantastic. I love you. I adore you. I worship you!" From teasing, insolent girl, to submissive and seductive.

He calls back. For another 10 minutes. We do the nipple clamp in the carpet thing. He makes me CUMCUMCUMCUM!

Then he calls back again, for another 10 minutes.

"Are you teasing me, Mr. Fantastic?" I ask him.

"Teasing you?"

"Yes, you keep calling for 10 minutes, so we leave things unfinished and I'm anxious, waiting to see if you'll call back!" I wish I knew where I came up with this shit.

"Oh yes, you're a smart girl," he says, "This time I'm gonna fuck you!" He launches into his barking.

This is the first phone call in the course of this job where I do something else while we talk. I text Dennis.

"I hate this motherfucker so much." I scream a big, fake orgasm, while rolling my eyes, "I'm faking an orgasm for him right now. He's such a dipshit."

It's hard not to laugh my ass off when he says, "You feel so good right now, don't you?"

"I do, Mr. Fantastic. You made me cum so hard!"

"I know. Next time you talk to Mindy, ask her about me. I can hear in her voice that she wants to talk to me. I know you girls gossip, and I know she's heard about me. Over the years, I've built up quite the reputation as a good lover, and all the girls want to talk to me."

"I wondered why Mindy was so short with me today!"

"See!" He laughs, quite pleased with himself, "She's usually very friendly with you, but just now she was short because she's jealous you get to talk to me and she doesn't. I giggle. "Next time you talk to her, you make sure you tell her how good a lover I am."

"Oh I will! I'll tell her you don't get your name for nothing!"

"That's right. Now, what do you have to tell me?"

"I love you." I hate you. "I adore you." You suck ass. "I worship you." 8 dollars, bitch.