The Pussy Gnome

Originally posted January 28, 2008

Another 15 minute credit card call comes through. I'm at the point where I barely listen to these stupid recordings since they don't help me at all.

I'm connected with Louis. He's in his 40s and soft spoken. He asks if it's OK with me that he's so much older than me, since I'm only 21. I tell him I love older men and that guys my age don't care about making me feel good. They're only interested in making sure they get off, it doesn't matter if I do or not.

He likes that answer and tells me how he loves making a woman cum. He says that's his favorite thing to do. Especially making them cum with his tongue.

I coo over this, and tell him to show me how he uses his tongue. We have a pretty standard cunnilingus chat. He talks a lot so I don't really have to say much, which is nice.

After my “orgasm,” he goes on and on about how I made him feel so good, and kind of tingly. He asks me if I'm a sorceress or a wizard and if I put a spell on him.

At this point, I figure he's just laying the compliments on thick, so I giggle and tell him he's silly.

“No, really, I think your cum has some power. I think you put a spell on me, Charlotte.”

“I did? What are you feeling, Louis?”

“Well, I'm tingly all over, and I think I'm...yes, I am! I'm shrinking, Charlotte! You are a sorceress!”

“...”

“Your wonderful juices are causing me to shrink, I'm only about two inches tall, Charlotte!”

“Oh my! Your magical tongue must have unleashed powers I didn't know I had!” I exclaim.

“You've never done this to a man before?”

“No, Louis! I haven't! Look at you, you're so cute and little!”

“Yes, I'd like to walk inside your pussy, Charlotte! Can I climb inside you?”

“Oh yes! Let me feel you walking around inside my pussy.”

“It's so warm and soft Charlotte! It's amazing inside of you, and you smell so good!”

“...”

“Can you feel me jumping up and down?”

I laugh, “I can, it tickles!”

“I'm climbing out of your pussy now, and up on to your clit. I'm giving your clit kisses and hugging it with my body.”

“That's so nice, soft little kisses! I pick you up and kiss you. I can kiss your whole body at once!”

“Oh, Charlotte! I'm going to climb inside your asshole now, can I do that?”

“Oh yes, Louis, I think I'd like that.”

“I want to live inside your pussy forever.”

“I'd like that, Louis! You can be mine forever, and curl up inside my pussy to sleep at night.”

“Yes, and you can take me to class with you!”

“But, you can't be naughty and push that button, you'll distract me!”

“Oh, I wouldn't do anything you didn't ask me to.”

We ended up stretching this conversation over two calls, since we'd run out of time during the first one.

We talk about me walking around with him inside me, and how warm it is for him. We discuss whether or not I'd share him with my best friend. He said he'd only want to be regular size every once in a while so we could make love, but mostly, he'd want to drink my magical cum so he can remain small and live inside my vagina.

All I could think about was Clerks II and the Underpants Gnome. I was recalling the scene in my head when he asked if I had a nickname for him. I suck at naming things, so I hemmed and hawed for a bit.

“What's wrong with Louis?” I ask.

“I just thought you'd want to make up a special name for me.”
“Well, I kind of like Louis My Pussy Gnome.”

“Oh, well, gnomes are kind of ugly, aren't they?” he sounds dejected. I wonder why he didn't just tell me what he wanted his stupid nickname to be if he was going to poop all over my suggestions.

“I think gnomes are very cute, Louis.”

“Well, then that's ok,” he says, brightening, “I'll be your Pussy Gnome.”

“Good. You'll be Louis My Pussy Gnome forever!”

He thanks me happily, and tells me he'll call again soon.

Yippee.

0 comments: